So um. Mass Effect: Deception. Apparently it’s bad? I was joking around with Jordyn about how some of the factual inaccuracies (specifically the ‘tears of a turian saint’) sounded bizarrely poetic, and thus was a terrible song born.

We like to think of it as an ill-conceived love song from the author of Deception to a Mass Effect fan. D’awwwww. soundcloud.)

(Source: soundcloud.com)

I have a few Mass Effect-related songs I’m sitting on right now because they need another pass/the vocals need to be redone/I just haven’t recorded them yet so. I haven’t uploaded music in forever and I often want to here, so allow me to sing you to sleep with Shiola.

kimbb introduced me to this song when we were first playing Dragon Age 2 and so now I always associate it with Hawke and it makes me extra sad but. Yeah. It’s just a super sad song anyway. But it is also really pretty and very fun to sing. I just hope I did it semi-justice. I really do love it. You can download it at the source link if you really want IDK.

This has been your self-indulgent audio post from Sara for the evening.

(Source: box.net)

Long before the Calibrations song, and before I ever even owned a guitar, SIB made me write a Garrus filk to a Justin Bieber song on my ukulele. And I liked it.

I know you love me
I know you care
And when our eyes meet
Mandibles flare

You are a lizard
With a sexy carapace
And our love will go on
Throughout time and space

With all the Collectors
We’ve been slaying
You popped my heat sink
That’s what I’m saying

And that douche Kaidan
We’ve said our goodbyes
And now I’ll love you
With the rest of my fictional life

Garrus, Garrus, Garrus, OO~OOOOOH~~~~~
Etc etc and so forth.

(Source: box.net)

Oh, screw it. I need something to upload to tumblr because I’m pretty sure it’s been a life age (read: one day) since I have and so here. Have this terrible recording of me singing Mermaid by Regina Spektor at around 3AM this past Friday night.

This is the story
Of a mighty forest of chest hair
It belonged to the sexiest dwarf
Who most will admit was beyond compare

He stood 4’3”
Had eyes that shone like lyrium
Had no beard but his chest alone
Had my heart from day one

Varric when I met you
Didn’t have a sovereign to my name
I’d met your awful brother
But you weren’t the same

It must’ve been cupid’s arrow
You shot at me that day
Introduced me to Bianca
And now all I can say

Varric! You bastard!
You wooed me with your low-cut shirt
And then you left me out to dry

And Varric, Baby
I’d drop everyone else I’ve ever known
If you’d promise to be my only guy

Who could ever choose a mage
Or a sparkly warrior?
A pirate who doesn’t wear pants
A blood mage who wears fur?

I’ll tell you what they share
Why they don’t make my heart explode
They don’t have any chest hair
So they won’t be exploring my Deep Roads

But Varric, he can
He can go spelunking any time
As long as he promises to be true

And Varric, baby,
I’ll love you till we fall into the sky
I’ll do almost anything for you

You may be married to your crossbow
But she ain’t the only one
She can never love you
Like a Champion

Varric! Darling!
Let me be a lumberjack
In the forest on your chest

And Varric, baby,
Let me get a little closer to you
And learn why Hawke’s the very best
(Even Andraste’d be impressed)
(At that thing he’s got on his chest)

A filk written by the lovely Teija. She gave it to me at least an age ago, but y’all. I move so very slow.

A long, long time ago, I can still remember
When his armor used to freakin’ shine
And I met him at Ostagar
Before we picked up battle scars
King Cailan welcomed me, I fell in line

But Loghain pulled his men away
And Duncan fell that fateful day
The King was crushed and broken
The Darkspawn horde had spoken

And Alistair, he up and cried
As we thought about the king’s widowed bride
We knew only Wardens could turn the tide
The day King Cailan died

So bye-bye Mister Glorious Guy
Had your army at the ready, but the darkspawn were nigh
Loghain turned to Cauthrien and signaled “goodbye”
Saying, “We will leave the Wardens to die.
We will leave the Wardens to die.”

So Leliana, are you nuts?
Or are you following your guts
Though the Chantry tells you no?
Will Sten play a vital role?
Can ashes save your mortal soul?
And can you tell me all the tales you know?
Well, I know that he is falling, too,
‘Cause he’s saved a flower just for you—
You’ve dreamed archdemon dreams
You’re hoarding potions and creams

We found a swamp witch called Morrigan
A dog named Dog with a lop-sided grin
I met a nice mage whose name was Wynne
The day King Cailan died.

(CHORUS)

Now for months we fight against the Blight
And battle darkspawn with all our might
Collecting all of our treaties.
When an assassin came for all our heads,
We got him to join with us instead
And found out he was kind of a sleaze

Oh, Harrowmont and Bhelen fought,
Their city torn apart for naught—
The Deep Roads held the clues,
Wardens had it all to lose.
And while Orzammar was torn apart,
The Wardens drew up political charts
And Oghren nursed his broken heart
Because King Cailan died

(CHORUS)

We met a warden who was stuck in jail
We let him out, but he just bailed
So we left and killed Arl Howe ourselves
Alistair and I were so in love
I thank the blessed Maker up above
I’m not a mage, a dwarf, or an elf

And Teagan kept Redcliffe alive
While Eamon laid near death inside.
Andraste’s ashes worked—
But the archdemon still lurked.
After the Landsmeet met in Denerim
We led an assault on Fort Drakon
Our armies were spread so very thin
Because King Cailan died.

(CHORUS)

(Source: soundcloud.com)